Now I Am Become Death

IMG_3794

Living room, just after sunrise on a Wednesday. Kelley drinks tea on the couch beside Schmoopie, who is eating oatmeal. Squirrels frolic in the trees just outside the back windows.

KARMANN: I see tree kittens. I see tree kittens. I see tree kittens! I see TREE KITTENS!!! I SEE TREE KITTENS OH MY DOG I SEE THEM THEY ARE THERE AND THEY ARE FROLICSOME!!!

CALVIN: I guess she sees tree kittens.

KARMANN: (to Cal) I DO I SEE THEM GET OVER HERE!!!

CALVIN: sigh

MORTIMER: (ninja moves)

KARMANN: (incomprehensible shouting)

Panic ensues as the household is overtaken by shouty dogs and swatting cats. Humans emerge victorious after several minutes of chase, and Schmoopie returns to couch, holding puffy and irritated Mortimer

MORTIMER: That’s right. I control this shit.

KELLEY: You destabilize this shit, is what you do.

MORTIMER: Exactly, mom. Exactly.

KELLEY: Who are you? Shiva?

MORTIMER: (looks away) This conversation has gone too far.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s