Running for Critters

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So I am officially registered to run the whole freaking Pittsburgh Marathon–ON MY BIRTHDAY–to raise money for the Animal Rescue League Shelter and Wildlife Center (ARL). As you will perhaps note, because it will be staring at you, disconcertingly, from the right side tool bar, I’ve put up a link to my fundraising website. In case you stumble on this blog, love the crap out of it, and generously decide to donate by clicking Cal’s head only to discover that I have raised none or few monies so far, I can only stress: Ladies and Gentlemen, I have not yet begun to beg. Fundraising in earnest will kick off Jan 1.

I have, however, already contused my knee on a critter-seqestering baby gate because extreme and injurious clumsiness is my body’s natural response to being forced to run an unholy and unwholesome number of miles. But I digress.

Last year, thanks to the awesomeness of friends, family, and a few very lovely internet strangers who supported my half marathon efforts, we helped to raise $750 for the ARL. This year I’m raising the bar to $1000 for the full 26.2.

This year's Running for Critters Chief Donation Hypnotizer

This year’s Running for Critters Chief Donation Hypnotizer

I put up the donation link because, as I did last year, I plan to give brief and/or hilarious weekly updates on my efforts to whip myself into such condition that I can reasonably expect to cross the finish line under my own motive power. As long as I’m doing that, I might as well have Cal stare you all down, and wear you all down, for donations.

I’ve also put him up there for accountability and motivational purposes. Y’all. A half marathon was TOUGH. Seriously. I am not a runner. A full marathon may very well kill me and I KNOW, in the deepest cockles of my heart (whatever the hell those are) that there will be times–so many times–that I will want to quit. Or skip a long run. Or skip a short run. Or skip all the runs in favor of sitting on my couch eating a delicious, delicious pizza. But unlike last year, when I waited until the last minute to register and publicize my fundraising efforts to make sure I thought I was up to the task, THIS YEAR I am MAKING myself up to the task. I am setting out to do it, I am announcing from the get-go that I will do it, and dammit, IT WILL BE DONE.

I’m completely freaking horrified.

So, whether you click now, or click later, or don’t click at all and just send me some mental energy because, hey, this economy is total shit and I get that, you will have to look at my most freakily adorable boy dog until May 3, 2015. If you feel yourself becoming lightheaded, or inexplicably drawn to adopt small, unstable hound dogs, I recommend averting your eyes for a few seconds. It should pass. Or you’ll get a dog. Win-win.

And with that, in the spirit of this year’s Marathon theme, and also Bane (weird): LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

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