The Lunatic is On the Grass

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“FLOWERS ON MY HEAD!”

So it’s Autumn. Karmann is pleased.

Because this is how Karmann feels about the coming of cooler weather:

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She can dance if she wants to; she can leave her friends behind

She hates the hot heaty-ness of the summer, and is generally unimpressed with polar vortexcalypses. Cooler weather means frolicking, and walking FOR DAYS, and she’s heard a persistent rumor that her mum and dad are going to take her CAMPING. In the WOODS. Where OTHER CRITTERS live. ZOMG.

She’s feeling very all-caps, lately.

“ALL CAPS COLD WEATHER YAY!” -Karmann. All the time.

Because of her predisposition towards the cool air crazies, I didn’t initially think much of her, shall we call it, newfound zest for life. But then her zest turned into lunacy and I started to wonder if maybe she wasn’t taking things a bit far. But, you know, we had a pretty hot/humid summer.

By the time lunacy devolved into googling “can dogs actually have bipolar disorder?” I figured it was time for a call to the vet. Because doing a crazy circular dance while ass-herding Calvin into the corner is all fun and games, but frantically licking the floor and chugging water and peeing twelve times an hour in two hour bursts of insanity is, well, troubling. To say the very least.

I am under vet orders not to freak out (yet) and the first move is to take them some pee, to rule out–or, really, to hopefully confirm–UTI. A UTI would be FABULOUS. I feel very all-caps about a UTI.

“ALL CAPS UTI HOORAY WOOOOP WOOOOP!” -Me. Right now.

Because a UTI is treatable and relatively easy and does not involve the contemplation that Karmann’s Addison’s was perhaps only very briefly well-managed and we must now go back down the rabbit hole to find better dosages/medications/schedules/etc. We should know tomorrow. In the meantime, I will spend a little over 24 hours freaking out, staring at my puppy, and possibly bursting into tears if she does anything even remotely weird.

GO UTI!!!

When I am not ugly crying over my girl’s epic weirdness, I will be silently weeping in the bathroom, so as not to get caught, because . . .

IT’S TIME TO RUN FOR CRITTERS!

I feel very all-caps about that, too, apparently.

Ok, well, it’s not actually time to run for critters. It’s time to register to run for critters. Which means it’s time to go to a website, register to run the 2015 Pittsburgh Marathon for the Animal Rescue League, and commit to run the full 26.2 miles ON MY 35th BIRTHDAY.

I lost two toenails running the half this year, and their replacements still aren’t quite normal. I fear for both my life, and any future pedicures.

The half was fun. I enjoyed it so much that I immediately came home and registered for two other races for which I utterly failed to prepare (Great Race, I’m looking at you.) Yay commitment! But I promised myself, and I wrote on the wrap-up blog that in 2015, since the race was on my birthday, I would do the full.

And so I shall.

Or, at least, I will do as much of the full as possible before I inevitably perish on the course and make my mother very sad.

So let this serve as a reminder warning that solicitations will be forthcoming! Change your email now if you do not wish to be heckled to hand over your hard earned cash in the interest of helping critters in need. I probably won’t send out the donation beg until sometime in the bleak midwinter (improves sympathy donations) so you have some time to switch over all your contacts and stuff.

Until then, may my tendons be strong and my puppy’s bladder be treat-ably infected.

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