This month, the Full Freaking Moon brought to me:
– 2 critters who are questionable for this week’s big game due to head injury. Mort sustained a knee to the head as I flopped about in bed, trying to get comfortable, and Karmann got bopped when she shoved that giant, adorable head of hers under the dishwasher door as I was lowering it.
Oh sure, at face these may seem like accidents or, quite possibly, even, maybe, you might perhaps wonder if I were not to blame as I merely scapegoat the moon. But the moon makes me creepy! And discombobulated! I cannot be held accountable.
– Pink eye. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME DOGS CAN GET PINK EYE?!?? I noticed green gooey eye gloop yesterday, as I was kissing Karmann’s nose in apology for the Moon braining her with the dishwasher (*shakes fist* MOOOOOOOOOON!!!) This morning her little eye is red and swollen and she’s rubbing it (generally on me) and just seems displeased with her current condition.
She was also doing her routine puppy hork to clear the scarf’s worth of her own fur that she swallows every day and it sounded notably less resonant. Like somebody carpeted her sinuses. So we’ll be headed to what has become our weekly vet visit tomorrow.
Unless I freak out and think she has become terminally sadpants in the middle of the night and hike her off to the emergency vet for a puppy cold because oh my god a sick puppy is the saddest thing ever. And also, I’m a little reactionary.