Middle-of-the-night circus kittens soaring high overhead and almost landing on a very startled, previously sleeping puppy: 1 (Nigel)
Mystery stoop pooper: 1 (Calvin–not super mysterious.) Related, the landing has pretty clearly become the designated potty space, so I suppose there are baby gates in my very near future, bringing the house total to three. My entire domicile is an elaborate series of critter locks.
Kittens inadvertently locked in powder room for half an hour as I sat on the couch trying to figure out what that banging sound was: 1 (also Nigel; not retribution for nighttime aerial maneuvers–pinkie swear)
Critters who so much as twitched to alert me that that banging sound was actually their brethren, trapped in a powder room: 0. Real nice, guys. Real nice.